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Refocusing your relationship: an ADHD couples' weekend
June 6-8, 2008,
Friday 7:00 pm - Sunday 2:00 pm
GardenSpirit Guesthouse
Durham, NC
(limited to four couples)
You've "tried to be patient" or "promised to try harder" but it's not working:
ADD can't be cured with sheer willpower.
It takes understanding, forgiveness, a sense of humor...and most of all
a strong commitment to each other.
If you're ready to create the relationship or marriage you used to dream of
(but ADD trampled all over), it's time to come to North Carolina
for a weekend that will change your lives together.
Linda and Victor Roggli have battled, laughed about, agonized over and finally welcomed ADD into their relationship for the past 17 years (OK, true confessions, it's Linda with the ADHD diagnosis, but Victor has some interesting idiosyncrasies himself!).
They have learned how to work WITH those ADD-ish tendencies that are maddening on occasion ("I've lost my paycheck" can get old after the 14th time). The Rogglis blend their own intensely personal ADD couple's experience with advice from some of the top ADD specialists to bring you an engaging and upbeat approach to relationships that are laced with ADD.
Join Linda and Victor for this amazing weekend to:
– Learn how to talk (and listen) so your partner can HEAR without distraction
– Find out how to disagree without losing yourself in the process.
– Rediscover those 'little things" that strengthen your relationship
– Learn how you BOTH can deal with the "piles," procrastination and hyperfocus
– Let yourself re-engage in your relationship with acceptance and love
ADHD couples used to believe in "happily ever after"
Then reality (and delinquent electric bills) set in. Or the piles never quite vanished on the desk. Or you missed the first act again because you couldn't quite get out the door on time. It's enough to discourage the hopeless romantics among us.
The truth is that the two of you want your relationship to work -- you want it to be better. Now if you just knew HOW to make it better. "Trying harder" usually doesn't work, for a lot of good reasons (like butting your head against a brick wall, it can give you a headache).
But when you have some new tools to build your relationship, when you have that "aha" moment that reassures you that your partner really is that wonderful guy or gal you fell in love with, when you spend time together...no TV, no radio, no phone (except for emergencie) ... you begin to have hope again.
And that's the good news -- there IS hope for you and your beloved -- lots of hope. Even better, there are lots of good things to learn not only from Linda and Victor, but from each other and from the other three couples who will share GardenSpirit Guesthouse with you.
It's interesting how talking to other ADD couples can help you realize that you aren't alone -- there are other people who share your frustration. And there are other couples who cheer you on as you make changes that can alter your relationship for good.
To register for the Heart of the Matter for ADD Couples, click here
Forged in the heat of blame, tempered with the deepest love
Linda and Victor have long experience in the relationship arena. After a rocky start in 1991...and 1992...and 1993...and 1994...well, you get the idea. It took a long time for this battle-weary couple to wake up and realize that their most precious gift was right in front of them: their relationship.
Now they have a marriage that most people yearn for. "You two are the shining example," said one close friend. But the Rogglis aren't much different from you. They didn't sit before an ancient guru to divine "The Secret" of lasting relationships (well, OK, there were a few therapists that had some good ideas). Rather, they learned a few simple concepts that literally changed their world. And they are willing to share them with you and your partner in a single, glorious weekend.
About the retreat
"Refocusing your relationship: an ADHD Couples' Retreat" begins after dinner on Friday night (7:00 pm to be exact) with introductions, some simple orientation to the weekend and settlng in. Couples will retire to their private rooms at GardenSpirit Guesthouse for the evening.
After breakfast in the GardenSpirit dining room the next morning, the group will reconvene for group discussion and exercises. The day includes one-on-one work with your spouse or partner and some private time for walking, conversation and practice on new ways to connect. There will be a lot of learning and a lot of laughter.
Saturday evening will be a full blown celebration with a special dinner (champagne and roses, of course) and a time for quiet (or energetic), romantic conversation before retiring for the night.
Sunday morning the retreat convenes at 9 am for three hours of activities followed by lunch (on the veranda, depending on the weather). Closing activities and ceremonies end at 2 pm Sunday.
The focus of the ADHD couples retreat is on YOU and your relationship. While it's possible to work on a relationship alone, it's usually not effective. So, to make the most of this weekend, check in with your partner to make sure he or she is committed to playing at 100% for the sake of the relationship. Funny, but when you really make the effort, not only does the relationship deepen and grow, but so do the partners! It's amazing!
About Linda and Victor
Linda and Victor have been together for 17 years, 16 of them as husband and wife (ask how they met: what a story!). They've dealt with blended families, troubled kids and step kids, change of career, addictions, ex-spouses, new house construction, financial ups and downs, serious health issues - and a bunch of things that have (fortunately) been forgiven and forgotten. In other words, they've "been there done that" with most relationship issues. The good news is that they not only survived those traumas and dramas, their relationship is strong and growing deeper each day. They know this relationship is forever and ever -- and they honor it by putting it at the forefront of their daily lives.
Linda Roggli, ACC is a Certified Life Coach (CLC) who has specialized training in ADD Coaching. She earned certification through the International Coach Federation in 2006 and completed additional ADHD coaching training the same year. She holds certification as a Speaking Circles facilitator and was in the first graduating class of the Fastrak Leadership Education Program through Conversations with God. Linda is the author of "Durham: Doorway to Discovery" (Community Communications, 1995) and "Angie's Choice" (2006) and is finishing her new book, "Confessions of an ADDiva: life in the non-linear lane" slated to be published in early 2008.
Last year, she created GardenSpirit Guesthouse, the retreat center she envisioned as her life's work in 2001. She loves her life...and she loves sharing it with Victor (99% of the time, at least).
Victor L. Roggli, MD is a renowned pulmonary pathologist who specializes in diagnosing diseases caused by asbestos and lung cancer. He is a full professor at Duke University Medical School after a 24-year career with the VA Medical Center in Durham. Although Victor has a slew of honors and publications to his credit (he's a real smart guy) NONE of them have anything to do with this retreat. He promises not to talk about lungs (much) this weekend. No promises about karaoke though - he loves it!
His claim to relationship fame is the 180-degree turnaround in his attitude and action toward marriage, partnership and commitment. He has put in his time working on his own "issues" and has emerged happy and contented. He's far from perfect (as is Linda) but he has been willing to jump into a new way of thinking -- and it worked! He ALWAYS has a smile and he tells great jokes (OK, the same ones over and over again, but still...). Everybody - even his mother-in-law - likes Victor!
About GardenSpirit Guesthouse
GardenSpirit Guesthouse is a recently-acquired and renovated 2500-square foot private retreat house in northern Durham County, North Carolina. Set into two acres of pine forests and adjacent to a 5.5-acre tract of land that features meditation paths and a 50-foot Classical seven-circuit labyrinth, GardenSpirit is an ideal place to relax, renew and retreat.
There are four bedrooms in the house, each with a king-size bed. There is a full kitchen, dining room, family room with a massive stone fireplace and living room/reading room at the housae. A spacious sunroom overlooks the private woods at the rear of the house, with floor to ceiling windows, skylights and sliding glass doors that open to broad decks and an outdoor fountain.
Upstairs, just off the master suite, is the Magical Midnight Massage Room with an energizing massage chair - wonderful for aching back muscles and great relaxation for legs, too. Turn on the iPod peakers for the ultimate in privacy and tranquility.
Outside, there is a brand new deck with an oversized hot tub – especially nice when the stars blink brightly overhead and the bubbling water is warm! And there is a purple treehouse tucked into the woods for very private conversations.
For a slideshow of GardenSpirit Guesthouse click here.
Just one more thing .. this IS an ADD relationship retreat isn't it?
You may be wondering about the context of this retreat -- is it about s_x?? Not really, although the retreat IS about relationship. Relationship often means s_x, but that's not our main focus. Nothing kinky planned from our point of view! Just wanted to clear that before you sign up...
The bottom line - retreat fees/expenses
Total price of the weekend is $895. Your payment is refundable up to 14 days before the retreat, minus a modest processing fee.
The fees are all-inclusive: all meals, snacks, a romantic Saturday night dinner, retreat materials and tuition and a private room at GardenSpirit Guesthouse.
The retreat is strictly limited to four couples (there are only four bedrooms available). Part of gifting yourself with a retreat is getting away from the daily influences that can color your life together. Allow yourself to be fully immersed in this experience...and see what magic happens between the two of you.
Travel arrangements
The closest airport to GardenSpirit is the Raleigh-Durham International Airport (RDU). There are good connections on most major airlines. The airport is a leisurely 30-minute drive from GardenSpirit Guesthouse (except during rush hour -- 4 - 6 pm Friday night is NOT leisurely so come a little earlier if you can).
You may rent a car, carpool with other registrants or call in advance for Linda or Victor to pick you up in the GardenSpirit shuttle van, which runs to and from the airport at a cost of $40 round trip (taxis from RDU are $55 one way).
If you are driving to the retreat, you'll approach Durham on either I-40 or I-85. GardenSpirit is north of I-85. You'll receive a detailed map and driving directions when you register. The address of the retreat house is not published on this site to maintain privacy and seclusion.
OK, wanna change your relationship? Click here to register for the June 2008 ADHD Couples Retreat at GardenSpirit Guesthouse!
Contact linda@passionatepossibility.com for more information or to be put on our mailing list for future workshops and retreats. Be sure to whitelist this email address so that Linda's mail will get through to you! Email from your own address or use the form below:
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